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“I enjoyed your website. I’m going to send it to my friend who thinks she can do stuff like on ‘The Craft’. I really hope that she and all the other teenyboppers will understand that that stuff is completely fake.”
— email from “A Cynic”
(and many others)

Don’t feel so darned self-righteous. I’m ranting about all of you Cynics out there, too. You’ve probably been so busy applying all of WWS to that goth-wannabe in your math class that you don’t realize that the immaturity I’m referring to applies to you, too.

You see, for every Wiccan who is all-too-eager to tell Christians what an evil book their Bible is, there are always ten more who will feel it is their duty to correct the less enlightened newbies by saying “Magick isn’t what Hollywood portrays it as! Witches can’t stop time, that’s why we get wrinkles. If you want to change your hair color, buy some bleach/dye. If you want to change your eye color, buy some contact lenses.” Come on, people, it’s as annoyingly overdone as “Male witches aren’t called warlocks!” You can say you’re sick of correcting people all you want, but the rest of us are even more sick of hearing your lame attempts to sound cute.

There really isn’t much call for this “correction”… it’s already on hundreds of fluffy webpages. If any newbie were to dare poke his head in a Wicca 101 chat room and whisper, “Can I do cool stuff like on Dragonball Z?” he would immediately be assaulted by dozens of these word-for-word corrections, outright laughter, and a whole lotta preaching of “Wicca is a beautiful religion, you shouldn’t join to be a witch, you should join for the love of the Earth and the Goddess….” (etc.)

Do you think he’ll ever dare ask again? Heck no, he’ll quickly learn to recite similar speeches about how silly Charmed is, how witches can’t fly or use telekinesis, and how Hollywood is all a bunch of lies since their version of witchcraft never resembles Wicca. After all, Wicca is the sum total of witchcraft, right? (“Witches can’t do this… witches don’t do that….”) If Wicca doesn’t teach flashy stuff, it must all be bunk.

Here’s an idea: why don’t you look into levitation and invisibility before deciding they don’t exist? Why don’t you refer these newbie kids to the faiths that allow for such abilities? It might keep them from joining your religion out of pure frustration, and from soiling it with their hidden lust for power.

Doesn’t that make sense? Did you even think that far ahead, or were you having too much fun knowing-it-all?

Parroting other people’s beliefs doesn’t make you enlightened. The number of times something gets repeated doesn’t make it any more or less valid. Go out on a limb, do some research (maybe even get a little experience), and overall: tell us something interesting for once.

Why Wiccans Suck navigation
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Why Wiccans Suck (Read this first)
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